I miss blogging.

As you’ve probably noticed if you’ve visited my website at any point in time – it’s a hot mess. It’s a dumpster fire. I rarely update it, and when I do… ugh.

To be honest, I never really connected with the idea of setting up an author website for myself. I am not a salesperson, even though the indie author business requires a hearty dose of selling yourself. I’ve never considered myself an especially interesting person… I prefer to let my characters do the talking.

That being said, way way back, I used to do a ton of blogging. From livejournal days (cringe!) to fitness and running blogging, for many years of my life, I documented so much of the mundane, connected with amazing people, and basically just enjoyed another outlet for creative expression.

Of course, in typical Deja fashion, all that came to a screeching halt when the big fittness blogger boom came around, and what was once a fun circle of people sharing recipes and lifting routines turned into a cut-throat business. What could I monetize? What did my following look like? How could I one up her. Fun turned into obsession, and I couldn’t keep up, so I tapped the hell out.

Sometimes I feel like that about the writing business. Sometimes I feel like nobody cares about genuine me, and there’s this overwhelming pressure to write as quickly as possible and then sell, sell, sell. Every social media outlet, my newsletter, everything… I feel like I’m trying to shove my books down your throats and be seen! Instead of enjoying the act of writing and connections with my awesome readers and other amazing authors who I love and admire, I feel like I’m spinning my wheels, making silly teaser graphics, and chewing up my time tweaking ads and freaking out if sales dip for a few hours, or a day, or heaven forbid a week because holy shit, that must mean everybody hates me. WHAT DID I DO? The paranoia is real.

That shit isn’t gonna fly anymore. This blog here, I’m going to start using it for something a little different. Sure, I’ll be plugging my new releases, because they help make the stories I want to tell you more relevant, but I’d rather write about what goes on behind the scenes than try and convince you to buy my books. I want you to buy my books because you like dirty twisted stories, not because that’s the only thing I’m about.

I’m about a lot more.

I’m about a girl who burns the candle at both ends 24/7 until I get physically ill. I’m about a constant battle of self confidence, trying to learn where I fit in this world. I’m about a deep love for animals and nature, and an intense fascination with spirituality, Jungian psychology, and using artistic expression to connect with the world around me. I’m about manic swings of intense productivity, and days on end where I just want to lay in the sunshine and read good books. I’m about learning how to be social and embrace my weird, even though it’s sometimes painful. Thrift shopping. Trail running. Cold beer. Tapas. Indie rock and hip hop. Trying not to hate my body. Trying to forgive my past. Wanting to be a better writer, a more organized business woman, a better lover to my husband, a kinder all around individual.

Basically I’m a dumpster fire, and I invite you all personally to come enjoy the warmth of my glow. Maybe it’s a little smelly and repulsive, but that’s what happens when you put it all out there.

So yeah, my name is Deja, and I really miss blogging. So I’m gonna start doing it.

That’s all for now.

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PS – Judas: Indignant Few MC just went live today. I can’t wait to share the back story on this one, because… shit… it’s been a bumpy ride, but if you want to see the finished product, feel free to hop on over to amazon and grab a copy. It’s currently $2.99 until June 5th, and free with Kindle Unlimited.

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